Today, i got a note on my locker. it read: "thank you. i promised myself this morning that if someone smiled at me and told me hello, i wouldn't kill myself. i want you to know that your small act of kindness saved my life. signed, anonymous." i now make it a priority to smile and say hello to everyone i pass in the hall. - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (87) meh. (19) Comment (4) Lol by (cali)

Today, I was burning the album "History" by Matthew West onto a cd off of iTunes. The first song is titled "History" and so at the top of the screen iTunes said that it was "writing History." I felt epic. - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (71) meh. (16) Comment (1) Lol by (tom)

Today, I saw two mexicans race their lawnmowers. It was pretty epic. - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (83) meh. (10) Comment (6) Lol by (mia)

Today I was riding my bike home from work when there was a young woman trying to wave down a taxi. As I rode by I put out my hand at the last moment which landed a very fulfilling high-five. - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (72) meh. (3) Comment (0) Lol by (bikerguy)

Mom: I'm going to check if the water's wet. - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (53) meh. (4) Comment (0) Lol by (brit)

Mom: If you see your dad with the label-maker, take it from him! I keep finding stickers all around the house that say "Doug is cool." - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (114) meh. (2) Comment (0) Lol by (ler)

I got out of the shower a few minutes ago. I sat down to use the computer with my hair still wet, and my cat jumped into my lap. I just looked down to find him licking the water off the ends of my hair. - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (39) meh. (18) Comment (3) Lol by (lee)

Today I accidently "butt dialed" my mom. She called me back and after I told her it was an accident. She then said, "oh so it was just a booty call?" No mom, no. - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (111) meh. (4) Comment (0) Lol by (darcy)

Today I realized that the Edward in Vampires Suck is better looking than the Edward in the real Twilight movies. - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (97) meh. (14) Comment (3) Lol by (jessa)

While discussing a missing lamp, I suggested that my brother might have taken it for his apartment, saying: “He takes our food, now he’s taking our furniture” and my Mom shouts back, “BUT HE’LL NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!”. - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (131) meh. (4) Comment (0) Lol by (rabbles)

On my written driver’s exam, one of the questions pertained to the proper response to being cut off in traffic. Option C? “Shoot out their tires with a crossbow.” - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (124) meh. (2) Comment (1) Lol by (justin)

Today, I was feeling kind of down. So I went on My Life Is Twilight to make fun of all the stupid stories. I read on that said "Today, I made out with my dog because it reminded me of Jacob." I think this person needs a therapist. - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (85) meh. (3) Comment (0) Lol by (erika)

Today, I sneezed so powerfully I kneed myself in the face. - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (80) meh. (4) Comment (1) Lol by (jon)

Every day at 11:11, I wish for the same thing. It's been a year, and my wish hasn't come true. However, today I encountered an old man skipping down the street dressed as Abraham Lincoln. Close enough. - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (85) meh. (3) Comment (1) Lol by (sam)

Every morning I kiss my wife good bye while she’s asleep (I have to leave early and she sleeps till later). At 4am this morning I was pulling out of the garage and she came out of the front door. I was worried something was wrong, but half-asleep she just gave me a kiss, and then went right back to bed. - JMML!

zomg rofl, win (56) meh. (16) Comment (0) Lol by (bob)
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